The Secret Life of Pokemon-Completely Ripped Off

In the vast land of the Pokémon world, 419 types of Pokémon exist with many more to be discovered. The numerous secrets and mysteries of Pokémon are yet to be solved.

However, the real world is beginning to witness changes to the earth’s environment and experience odd weather patterns. This strange phenomenon can b explained with the proposed Pokémon theory, proving that Pokémon may in fact actually co-exist with the human species in secrecy.

Due to the earth’s deteriorating environments and over population of the human species, the Pokémon have acted to prevent this. Recent natural disasters each hold hints and clues about the existence of Pokémon.

The recent earthquake in China has had a death toll of over 90 000 deaths with many more injured. This earthquake was caused by a Pokémon, ground type, called Graveller, the evolved form of Geodude. Using a combination of ground moves, such as Earthquake and Magnitude 9, have caused mass destruction of epic proportions. It has been found that this so called natural disaster was at the cause of a dozen or so Gravellers which dwell within a local Chinese mine. These Gravellers are not to be confused with its first form, Geodude. Gravellers are capable of self destructing with great impact due to their high Special Attack and survive the blast with their special defence.

A few days before the earthquake there was a recent flood at the country of Burma.It has been found the torrents of floods were caused by the Pokémon Blastoise. Blastoise are equipped with strong hydro pumps and are capable of firing several thousand gallons of water. The events of the earthquake and flood were elaborate schemes planned among the Pokémon world. They have been able to communicate country to country by making use of the skills of a psychic type Pokémon called Kadabra. Several Kadabra Pokémon are stationed within each country sending information to others via their telekinesis skills. Their constructive information skills have led to these two disasters, wiping out many humans and causing famine across Asia.

The Pokémon have come to realise that by planning these massive 'natural disasters' the human species would soon discover their existence. Therefore, the Pokémon have come up with an ingenious idea to lead humans to believe these strange incidents were caused by the so called global warming.

In actuality, several types of Pokémon are stationed within each country and continent to create 'climate'. For example, Australia has a typically hot climate. However this hot climate has reached a temperature of up to 50 degrees Celsius, the hottest day in the century ever recorded. This unnatural high temperature is at the fault of the fire type Pokémon currently residing in Australia. They have achieved this unusual climate by using the skill known as 'Sunny Day'. Australians blame high temperatures for causing bushfires and the houses set on fire. However, 'Sunny Day' cannot cause massive fire outbreaks. In order to do this, the fire type Pokémon such as Charmander aids the fires by using skills such as ember, firespin and flamethrower. Because trees fit into the category of 'grass type' in the Pokémon world, bushfires are a common occurrence in the summer due to fire being effective against grass types.

However, many humans recognise Australia as a hot climate continent and have come to accept this as normality. The Pokémon have decided to link this to their ingenious global warming idea. During seasons such as autumn, spring and winter, the water type Pokémon creates horribly cold temperatures using skills such as 'mist' and 'rainy day'. During the winter and sometimes summer, the local Pikachu and Raichu will use thunder bolt and thunderwave skills to create what humans call "thunder and lightning". The Pokémon have even used 'rainy day' during the summer on rare occasions to create the illusion of the ever growing global warming.

Australia is becoming a hotspot for fire type Pokémon breeding. Due to this, there has been a shortage of water type Pokémon who seek cooler climates and fear too many opposite types may cause a war. This is devastating to humans because now there is a water shortage. As a result, water Pokémon has taken to the seas. Some water Pokémon have been caught and speared by Japanese whaling ships, therefore there has been a decline in water type Pokémon.

Excuse my lack of cultural tact

When people swear, why do they say "Pardon my French"?

When French people swear, I bet they don't go "Pardon my English".

There's nothing French about swearing. Is this some kind of joke about how French is the language of love? There is nothing loving in swearing. Oh, I suppose one can argue against that it could be when it comes to the word 'fuck'. Well, fuck you smartass.

There are many myths that surround how this word came about. The general consensus is that it's an acronym from olden day England. Note: Not France. There are two commonly known acronyms. The first being Fornication Under Consent of the King or For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge. Funnily enough, those two myths oppose each other and you can probably guess the fabricated situations for those terms to be used.

The point is not French!

Ne pas Français, fous le camp!

Sup

Gee, I don't know.